Today I thought about “emoticons” - even the word makes me shudder ;). (See, how confusing is that smiley face? Do I mean: “I’m just joking, I love emoticons”? or “Don’t take my anger seriously, this is a light-hearted blog, I am a light-hearted, happy person. Look, even my words are smiling at you”? or “Actually, you can go right ahead and disregard everything I say, ever”?).

I was going to go on to rant about how emoticons have dumbed us down since the inception of their use in the ‘90s. But then I did some research and found out, um, they started being used in 1857 in telegraphs (“love and kisses” was written as “<3 and :*”).

Actually, the use of emoticons as we know them today started in the late ‘70s. People were using the PLATO learning system, which had a “message board”— generally thought to be the first online instant messaging system. The users felt that there was a loss of meaning in the medium. You couldn’t indicate meaning through tone, facial expression or gesture in the messages. So they started using emoticons as signifiers.

Today, emoticons form a new whole language, or languages, to be precise. There are western ones, eastern ones, 2channel, Unicode and graphic ones. Between all of these are emoticons for many truly bizarre things: Jewish blonde (|):-)=II=, wearing a toupee  {:-), bucktoothed vampire :-E and several “stereotypical” characters from Russia, India, Germany and so on (using double-byte character codes).

It is a hieroglyphics for the modern age. I wonder, will some future Egyptologist-type character find our emoticon-filled language and spend a lifetime deciphering it, publish a book on it and become modestly famous in certain circles?

More importantly, I wonder what our increasing use of emoticons is doing to the way we express meaning and understand each other. How, in a world where you can say everything you need with a poo-with-eyes emoticon, can there be real meaning (I know, I know, “real” meaning, bleh) or at least some kind of honest, vital meaning?

When emoticons were first used, even as far back as the 1800s, they weren’t being used as a part of the primary mode of communication. There were letters, in long hand, but mostly, people spoke to each other. Now I’m not bemoaning the state of the world - our increasing disconnect on a person-to-person in person level (though I may in another article). Rather, I’m interested in the fact that increasingly messaging in one form or another (instant, text, Facebook, Twitter) is becoming our primary form of communication. And with it, this language of emoticons, as signifiers or stand-ins for the complex intonations, the subtle shifts of meaning that make up the way we understand each other.

Frankly, I am not satisfied with it. Yet I can’t suggest another solution, other than the emoticon vocabulary becoming increasingly complex. If we must have them then I want an emoticon for that tight-lipped stare I use when someone mentions a touchy subject. I want one that indicates the whiny tone in my voice when I don’t want to do something but will be doing it anyway. I want one that indicates Poseidon-like fury that isn’t about as scary as a muppet. I want one that exactly replicates the dirty-look I give to bitchy girls and boom guards, which was developed in high school and has been systematically upgraded for years.

Until I get my hands on the Oxford Dictionary of Emoticons (full version, running to 6 volumes) I refuse to use them. If you need me to indicate sarcasm you either don’t know me, or are a dolt, in which case I needn’t bother clarifying myself. Smiley face.

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